Hum ni đọc lại mí bài viết cũ thì mới nhận ra rằng: ngủ trể làm mình đánh vần (spelling) sai tứ tung. Chắc cũng phải như bà TX là phải set giờ đi ngủ sớm . 

Dạo này mình hơi bon chen nên đi mua thêm eyes shadows & liners. Mới mua lun new dây nịt & đôi bông tai pearl. Hôm qua dẫn con gâu gâu đi park mà cũng điệu bỏ make-up lên làm mí ông chơi golf suýt sáo tùm lum còn vẫy vẫy tay làm quen nữa; tuy biết đó là compliments but thấy hông có respect sao âu á. Nếu muh hông có con gâu gâu thì mình đã lấy giầy chọi họ xong rồi bỏ chạy á.

Mới kím ra được cuốn One Hundred Years of Solitude, ebook … gonna start reading it pretty soon. 

Ông Tờ nói đúng, mình thiếu self-discipline. Bây giờ phải tự động viên bản thân làm lại con người hoàn hảo. baby steps cũng good muh.
Although, kinna nhớ nhớ nhưng chắc phải bền lòng nhẫn tâm với bản thân mới đươc.

À phải, Hum ni đi làm lại, và cái cup của bà Thỏ mình cũng put to work

Vô trong đây, mình cảm thấy bùn ngủ sao đâu á and cái pix là 2nd cup of coffee for today.

I watched WALL-E tonight. I loved it as I loved Johnny 5. They have similar concepts–although Wall-E is Johnny 5′s copy– but both left with warmth in the viewer’s heart. I smiled the whole way through. The story line is really cute. 

In the movie, Wall-E longed to hold hands with Eve. It’s so cute. Reminds me of how people in relationship now-a-day go straight to kissing and physical stuff and forgot the butterflies first time holding hands with someone they liked. People don’t remember the first time they held hand but often the first time they kissed. Sometimes, a simple act of love goes much longer way then the whole nine yard. People tend to skip the smallest encounters in life and then go complaining of the world about things they don’t get . I do miss the feeling of butterflies in the stomach when I first look at him. The heart skipped beat then he first reached out and held my hand. I can sure say a lot because I kissed him first but that’s not what I’m writing about here so we can skip that part all together.

I do miss it. All the little things. i guess people who share the same freeway or street with me must think that I’m crazy because I do smile–yes, by myself–sometimes when I think about something warm, sweet and nice. But what do they know, right? I appreciate little things now. Love comes in small packages and wrapped in plain and yet sparkling paper–and it all depends on whom it is from. 

I sure do miss love.♥

Tối hôm qua ngủ có 3 tiếng làm sáng nay bơ phờ … mà cũng ráng bò đi chơi . Đi ăn rồi lang thang hết chổ này đến chỗ khác với người bạn lâu ngày không gặp . She cũng lớn tuổi rồi cho nên nói chuyện với her cũng phải chính chắng và suy nghĩ hơn với những người khác . Hôm nay, đi chơi cảm thấy thanh thảng.

Về nhà, cũng mở cái webcam lên chụp 2 tấm đầu năm để dành . Pose thì cũng không có gì khác lạ nhưng chụp xong mới thấy … vừa bơ phờ và nhớn hẳng ra rồi.

Rồi cũng dọn xong cái closet and đống đồ . Lần đầu tiên trong đời mình mới chấp nhận bản thân là : mình có quá trời đồ … nhiều quá mức … và không nên mua thêm đồ. Nghĩ đến đó là muốn xĩu.  Biết thế nhưng mình vẫn còn ham 

À, tối hôm qua comes across bài In Memoriam của Lord Tennyson, làm mình nhớ lại hồi xưa mình thích poetry sao đâu á . Thích nhất 2 đoạn trong that long poem:

XXVII
[...]
I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

L

Be near me when my light is low,
When the blood creeps, and the nerves prick
And tingle; and the heart is sick,
And all the wheels of Being slow.

Be near me when the sensuous frame
Is rack’d with pangs that conquer trust;
And Time, a maniac scattering dust,
And Life, a Fury slinging flame.

Be near me when my faith is dry,
And men the flies of latter spring,
That lay their eggs, and sting and sing
And weave their petty cells and die.

Be near me when I fade away,
To point the term of human strife,
And on the low dark verge of life
The twilight of eternal day.
so romantic.

Anyway, nghĩ làm 1 tuần rưỡi mà sao thấy thời gian trôi qua nhanh quá . Thứ 2 là đi làm lại rồi. Oh well, I better enjoy my weekend 

Time will say nothing but I told you so,
Time only knows the price we have to pay;
If I could tell you I would let you know.

If we should weep when clowns put on their show,
If we should stumble when musicians play,
Time will say nothing but I told you so.

There are no fortunes to be told, although,
Because I love you more than I can say,
If I could tell you I would let you know.

The winds must come from somewhere when they blow,
There must be reasons why the leaves decay;
Time will say nothing but I told you so.

Perhaps the roses really want to grow,
The vision seriously intends to stay;
If I could tell you I would let you know.

Suppose all the lions get up and go,
And all the brooks and soldiers run away;
Will Time say nothing but I told you so?
If I could tell you I would let you know.

W.H. Auden (1907-1973

La Vie En Rose

I thought that I would be closing this thread without an ending and shooting straight to the beginning but somehow I like to write about the past year, the foundation of this new year. I recollect, live and learn.

Love/Relationship: I learn more about love and relationship in 2008 than ever before. I learned that being in a relationship is a progress of working toward a better self in me. He had made every effort there is to be with me as much as possible, seeing each others every 2 weeks, spending time and efforts, learned me as I learned him. We don’t fight much anymore. Just once this year. He’s a doctor, he is patience and kind-heart and not bad looking. He has money, much more than enough. He is a wonderful person in which I know that he is the kind of man that most women die to have. He and I, two peas in a pot, and yet, I learned that sometimes too much of the same would not do me good.

Finding a boyfriend is easy. It is not the same as finding a life time partner. It is surely not based on how much he makes, what he does for a living, how romantic he is, how good looking he is, how much he showers you with presents, flowers or whom you have won him over. It’s more than that. It’s the one that subtract all the money and status and appearance and I know that it’d be OK with him and that he’d be OK with me. That we’d make it through.

I learned that I should find the best match and not the perfect guy. Deep down in my heart, I know he is the perfect guy but not the best match. The end is inevitable and yet I am afraid to let go.

I love, I know, but I am afraid. Afraid of breaking the old habits.

Family: I spent more money on my gâu gâu this past year. She got sick and it costed me a lot but I am happy that she is healthy and being her. I got along with my family this year and we are building a stronger family support. Normally, I don’t write about my family so I think it is safe to stop right here. Maybe more about my gâu gâu later.

Friends:
Real Life/Offline friends: Holy Mother of GOD! This year is the crappiest year for my friends which made my problems seems so small to the non-existent. It ran from the East to the West and some stopped in the middle to fiddle and then moved faster than the nuclear force. As I have always said about my life, it is a freakin’ Charles Dicken’s plot with the supporting casts have more actions then the main character. In a way, it made me feel like the crappies friend in the world because I was not there when needed. I felt like a failure when he told me that he was afraid that I might judge him and his life like everyone else did. It made me wanted to drive across the country and smacked the daylight out of him. It hurt beyond belief when he said that. But I am glad that things set straight between he and I and that we both pray that things will get better for him.

I cut my contacts to those people whom no longer should be someone I would like to associate with. They called and called and I should have changed my number and moved to another state. There are some routines in life that I chose to be apart and now gladly removed myself from that group of people. Wasting time is an option and I chose to be no part of it.

Online SC: I am glad that I made the trip to DC to meet you guys. It is one of the best experience in my life. The fact that I felt no strangers to you guys set a warmth in my heart. I thank you, all.

General: I learn to choose friends more carefully and being a better sport. I remove myself from those I feel inappropriate or those who being bully, ganging up on others to make themselves better. I like genuine friends as I am myself one to them. Although, I have much to learn but I am glad that I do have people who are willing to be there and guide. A friend who are not afraid to voice their advices are the ones worthy to keep. I only have a handful in my life but I sure do treasure them.

Work: I learned to stand up for myself at work and again, removed myself from the gossiping people. I’ve been doing that the past two years (since I started) and I know that I am not a popular person there but I feel much better about myself at the end of the day and when I am off to bed at night knowing I didn’t trash anyone, bullied anyone and or play dirty on anyone. It is my habits not to be a part of office politics ever since I start working when I was 18 and I know that I won’t get far if I don’t take sides; however, I am content with that as I want my work to speaks for itself and not have to kiss anyone’s ass to get ahead. I have my dignity and I am proudly keeping it. Honest work, honest pay, honest way to live.

School: I went back and got my HR Management Certificate. I was lazy, still am but working toward the better now. I start my MBA this year (second half of the year) but at last I am getting back on track. For the spring semester, I am taking piano lesson and still debate whether talking Spanish course to improve or to take Creative Writing (Fiction) so that I can actually compose my story. Time will tell when they let me sign up for the courses.

Self: I take on the liking of Opera and Classical music. Don’t ask why. Aside from that, it’s a constant process to be better and working toward the best. My best. I set my standard high in everything and yet some where down the road of getting where I am at right now, I lower my standard …way lower. This 2008 has helped me reflect, recollect and have plan, baby steps, for myself to be better. I start my meditation again in hope that my mind can settle and become clear. Much expectation for me. I see my faults and I learned not to judge and punish myself harshly. Redemption. I am and work toward the best in my life.

My 2008 song was Pachelbel’s Canon in D. I have a feeling that next year (which is this year 2009,) I’ll be obsessed with Vivaldi’s Four Seasons (Spring and Autumn) and Beethoven’s Ode to Joy–we’ll see.

God bless and on forth to a Happy ’09

Q :]♥