tonight, being unable to sleep as usual, i took a walk down the memory lane of dreams. my ‘hubby’ dreams. i guess as one grows up, one’s dreams can shifted and changed. far from wishing and dreaming that ’someday my prince will come’ to the ‘tall, dark and handsome man’, i now just want a decent man. a man whom i love and love me in return. i just want to adore him and he adores me. whom i can share my thoughts with, warm my heart, place my trust, fall asleep together every night, and wake up to hear his voice every morning. let him may not be ‘tall, dark and handsome’ and or a ‘prince’ but let him always be charming, witty, true at heart, and strong-willed.

what has made a dream changed? or has it not changed at all but just tucked away somewhere, hoping one day it will be found again?

oh yes, i just threw all of my dried flowers away. why did i dry them? i dont know. why did i throw them away? well, the dried flowers are all the roses that the guys sent to me in hope that they would date and/or being my boyfriend over the years. seriously, i think the excessive flower sending is a waste of money and showing me that the person is being a unthoughtful. when i was young, i used to dream that a guy would adore me much by sending me flowers everday but after a quite series of experiences of receiving flowers three times a week, over meaningless weeks, to me, the guesture has become meaningless. i’m sure they could have used the flower money for something more meaningful than their candy-to-the-eyes-affections like donation to charity of some sort or save a life somewhere in Africa or maybe can fund someone to school. don’t get me wrong that i don’t like receiving flowers, i do. just once in a while, pick out a rose or hand pick a bouquet of flower and hand deliver it to me so that i don’t have to face a stranger (whom later became a familiar face because i see them more than i see the person ordered the roses) and ask me to sign a paper to prove that ‘i’ve received their “like/love”‘ (???) so today, i threw all of the dried flowers away. the vase is empty. i hope that one day, i can receive meaningful flowers. when person send out flowers, their flowers’ petals should be made out of love and the stems are of sincereness and all wrapped in the adorations.

by the way, i once bought my exboyfriend a blue rose and i saw him blushed. that was adorable. so, my suggestion would be do something nice like cook a meal, text a love message or send him a flower on a un-holiday day. do that out of the blue, any day, without any reasons. i’m sure he’ll love it because i believe that guys should be pampered and spoiled by their loved ones too.

now i dont know how to conclude this entry in my own words so i guess i just leave it ends with the personal favorite which i think is the one of the best songs, if not best of the best, ever written:

If -Bread
If a picture paints a thousand words,
Then why can’t I paint you?
The words will never show the you I’ve come to know.
If a face could launch a thousand ships,
Then where am I to go?
There’s no one home but you,
You’re all that’s left me to
And when my love for life is running dry,
You come and pour yourself on me.If a man could be two places at one time,
I’d be with you.
Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way.
If the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die,
I’d spend the end with you.
And when the world was through,
Then one by one the stars would all go out,
Then you and I would simply fly away

by Def Leppard

If you’ve got love in your sights
Watch out, love bitesWhen you make love, do you look in the mirror?
Who do you think of, does he look like me?
Do you tell lies and say that it’s forever?
Do you think twice, or just touch ‘n’ see?
Ooh babe ooh yeah